Steampunkalia 29th and 30th June 2019

Steampunkalia 29th and 30th June 2019

I started writing conventions diaries - which turned into my blog - because the words "Games Convention" covered a multitude of sins. I thought it would be useful to tell people about the difference between a local club's "Games Day" in a local church hall and beasts like the UK Games Expo.  It turns out the same is true of Steampunk Conventions.

When I have a spare weekend and can't find a Games Convention to go to, I look to attend other "geek" conventions to offer to run introductory TTRPGs. Science Fiction, ComicCons, Anime and Steampunk. Steampunk ones are by far my favourite. As a hobby it studiously defies definition. But it's something to do with cogs. And I find Steampunks - with their universally "splendid" attitudes - to be open to new ideas and to be the closest type of non-gaming geek to gamers.

As you know, last weekend I attended "The Town that Never Was" organised by "The Ministry of Steampunk" at the Ironbridge Gorge museum. This weekend I attended "Steampunkalia" at the Nottingham Industrial Museum. (Nope, I'd never heard of it either.) This one was organised by the promotional department of the Museum in order to attract more visitors. So last week was Steampunk using the Museum, this week was the Museum using Steampunk. A minor but interesting difference.

As usual I found out about it by accident and wrote off at pretty much the last minute. Luckily they accepted me. At first I was told I'd have a pitch outdoors, the later they found me a space inside.

The event is a two day one running from 11:00-4:00 on Saturday and Sunday. The museum shuts at night and there is no evening event. Though Nottingham is only a short train ride from Birmingham, the British rail system was unable to deliver me to Nottingham early enough Sunday morning, so the option of travelling home Saturday night (as I'd done the previous weekend) was denied me. So I had to book into a hotel - which massively increased my costs.

With it not starting until 11:00am and Nottingham being so close, I was able to get up at sensible o'clock to travel. When I arrived at Nottingham station, the taxi driver there didn't know where the Museum was either, but the organisers had supplied me with superb directions. The museum is in Woolaton Park, just outside the city. A sweeping vista of grass and trees - home to a herd of red deer. Beautiful creatures, lovely setting. It's next door to Woolaton Hall, a large Manor House. A 16th century ex-industrial something or other. (It has a working Steam "Beam Engine" whatever that is.)

There's a courtyard outside the door to the museum - where the shops and facilities are - and a further one inside where events take place. I was given a spot in the main hall just inside the museum. I was the first thing visitors would see of the convention after they'd paid. A blessing because I got to pounce on them and got lots of passing trade. However, they always say they'll see the rest of the convention first and will pop back. I'd have to catch them on the way out.

My display was in front of some historical lace-making machines. The second week running when I had to take care not to damage antiques.

Just like last week, the attendees were a combination of Steampunks and ordinary museum visitors. Some of the latter seemed a bit disgruntled at being asked to pay an entry fee. The museum is usually free. And - I have to say - the volunteer manning the desk could be a bit brusque at times.

Some of the museum volunteers had embraced the event by dressing up but many hadn't, which was a shame.

As well as myself the convention had the usual range of trade stalls and shows. Next to me was the photo booth where Steampunks could have their photo taken or ordinary punters could dress up as Steampunks. But the highlight of Saturday was the Steampunk Owl display. I didn't see the display itself but saw the three birds up close and they were truly magnificent creatures.

Saturday was the hottest day of the year - and heat and Steampunk is an interesting mix. Trade was steady but not overwhelming.

I met and talked to lots of people. I ran three games. In the morning I ran a Superhero game for a young mother and her two enthusiastic young sons and her shy young daughter - who was absolutely at the lower end of the age range for my games. I kept it short and when a TPK seemed imminent, bent the die rolls to allow the young girl to save the day. Everyone seemed happy.

I then had a game with a very mixed table. There was a very elegant older lady - who sometimes plays the "Swords and Cogsticks" game - and what I presume was her young grandson.  As we started playing more people joined in, including a very experienced gamer I'd chatted to earlier. And we attracted a small audience. This was a Steampunk game - The Great Airship Robbery. A reporter for BBC radio Nottingham watched for a bit. Everyone enjoyed the game and the young boy wanted to come back later, so I promised to keep his improvements written on his characters sheet until he returned.

I then did a short interview with the radio Nottingham reporter (who was also called "Burley") about what I was going at the event. The experienced gamer also stated to give a players perspective on my game which was great. Of course - as role-player -he was very erudite and expansive and - as an author and referee - I felt he bit into MY time in the spotlight a bit. Hubris, eh? I need to find out when/if the interview is/was broadcast.

After lunch - a tasty and filling cheese pasty from the museum cafe - I ran a third game. As promised the young man and his grandmother(?) returned and we added another couple of players to play "One of our Dinosaurs is Missing". Luckily there were lots of fish at the end to entrap the missing Diplodocus. He ended up taking s photo of "his" character sheet so he can continue playing the game if his family buy the rules.

The only negative thing was that, periodically, one of the lace making machines would fire up as a demonstration and it was a bit noisy - pretty much on the DragonDaze PA level of noise - and I had to raise my voice a bit.

All too soon, we had to clear up. I'd booked myself a hotel on the edge of the park so it was easy to get to. I hadn't organised myself anything to do Saturday evening and didn't  feel like making the trip into town to see a film or anything. So I had a quiet night.

Because the hotel was so close to the event, I was able to have a relaxing morning and arrive fairly late by my standards. But everyone else seemed to be even later. I bumped into a pie man who'd come for the day and we found our way in together.

Sunday was cooler than Saturday and much, much, much busier. Though there were no owls, the events seems to be a step up from Saturday with a unicycle riding fire-eater and a highly superior Steampunk singer ("Captain of the Lost Waves"?)

Despite it being busier, I only got to run two games. The Great Airship Robbery for an eclectic combination of older people and The Missing Dinosaur for three European students. There were just too many other events on to attract people's attention. I also ate some bespoke pies from the pieman I met earlier (Pork and Stilton, Pork and Black Pudding).

Worst thing was they set up a Steampunk jewellery stall directly opposite me and they had Steampunk goggles with a variety of lenses - including ones related to gaming. I just HAD to have them and ended up splashing out on set. They're really nice and will be great when I offer games at the BIG steampunk in the summer. But, still, it was an indulgence.

Best thing was I realised that you could sing "We will rock you" to the rhythm of the loud lacemaking machine and even got the jewellers to join in!

The end came all to soon again and I was soon on my way home.

I enjoyed the event. However, even though I ended up running more games than last weekend, the cost of the hotel meant that I have to do some serious thinking about future events. Is it really worth me travelling to short - 5 hours per day - events with nothing to do in the evening? I need to plan my conventions much much further in advance.

If you're local and want to sample Steampunk I'd recommend the event. The stalls and shows justify the entry fee on their own, and then you've got a great industrial museum to search through on top. And then, on your way home, you can stop to take a look at the deer or play in the park. I wouldn't recommend it for TTRPGs, though. I may not be there next year.

The Town that Never Was - 22nd-23rd June 2019

The Town that Never Was - 22nd and 23rd June 2019


As well as going to lots of games conventions, I keep my eye out for other "hobby" conventions. I like to take my "Choose Your Adventure" set-up of short (typically one hour) TTRPGS demonstration games. This is a wonderful hobby, but you need to try it out to see what it's really like.


A couple of weeks ago, I came across a Steampunk event called "The Town that Never Was'", due be held very shortly.


This piqued my interest for several reasons. Firstly, it's a Steampunk convention. Steampunk is a term whose definition is firmly equivocated by its advocates. More of a mood than a genre. Not quite a re-enactment society for a History that Never Was. It usually involves ornate dressing up and there are lots of pith helmets, goggles, bustles and the occasional feather. Personally I love the alt-history redolent of H G Wells and Jules Verne element of the hobby and have always found Steampunks to be entirely splendid people.


Then there was the fact that the event was organised by "The Ministry of Steampunk" who had organised the wonderful "Asylum" event I'd sampled in 2018 - and to which I'm returning in 2019.  So I knew it was going to be well organised.


And it was being held at the reproduction Victorian village at Ironbridge Gorge. The perfect setting and somewhere I'd never visited. Apparently this was the third time the event had been held there.


Finally the theme was "The War of the Worlds" - specifically a world just after the Martian defeat.


This was all like catnip to me! So I dropped the organisers a line offering my games. Their initial response was that there was no space left. Hardly surprising! However, a day or two later they got back in touch to tell me they'd found an office for me - next to "The Martian Expeditionary Force".


A quick bit of research found that this was a Steampunk group whose conceit was that they were trying to recruit people for a free trip TO Mars (nothing being said about the return journey) and, failing that, to get people to donate their various germs and ailments. So I swapped a couple of emails with their leader and he agreed that my office could be called their Training Department. So I came up with a short scenario based upon their conceit which he approved of.


As with the Asylum event, there were the large daytime events with a separate, smaller, tightly ticketed, evening event for an additional charge. These are music/dancing type shows and didn't interest me, personally. The museum is in Telford, only about an hour's train journey from Birmingham, so I decided my most cost effective option was to travel to and from the event each day, coming home to rest on the Saturday night. Much cheaper than staying at a local hotel.


The doors opened to visitors at 10:00am, though I noted my games were on the programme due to start at 11:00am. Doors opened to exhibitors are 8:00am. I chose to arrive at 9:00am, catching a taxi from the station. I caught the waiting Black cab on the way but thereafter rang the local hire car firm which turned out to be literally half the price.


Entry was easy. I had advance directions sending me to the tradesmens' entrance. My name was on the list of exhibitors and I was escorted to my venue. This was in the the "Estate Office" a building which was partially 16th and partially 17th century. The Martian Expeditionary Force were set up in the main hallway - presumably where tenants would, in past times, have brought their grievances or come to settle rent. They had flyers and various artefacts - weaponry, retrofitted Martian technology, sinister specimens in cloudy jars etc.


As expected, they were a thoroughly splendid set of coves and took me through to my office. I must admit it, I had a bit of a shock. It was small and dominated by a large, antique, leather topped desk. Presumably where the actual Estate Manager hung out. There were two chairs, a tiny square table and a massive chest. I couldn't at first see how I could possibly play games in there.


However, the - luckily flat topped - chest could pulled away from the wall and made a perfect playing surface. There was a small bench in the main hallway the MEF weren't using which I commandeered. I brought and old school chair down from the loft and stowed the small table in a corner. My display of available games was set up on the desk and the chest lid left for playing on. (These are antiques I was messing with remember.)


Trade was slow at first. It always is at this sort of convention. There's so much for people to see and do, it's not until they've seen everything and want to rest their legs that they usually come back to sit down to play. As people came into the hall to hear the MEF's spiel, I'd explain what I was offering and bring them into my office for a chat and give them my business card.


Unfortunately things remained slow. There were a cheering number of people who remembered my games from the Asylum, and people both in and out of the hobby with whom, I had some great in depth nerdy chats. But there was just so much on at the event - a fun fair, displays, a mayoral election campaign, music, dancing, trade stall and all the usual features of the village - that no-one could spare the time for a game. The Village was still open to members of the public who were wandering about bemused at walking into the vibrant, colourful Steampunk event. I even explained TTPRGs to them.


Eventually a couple in their 70's said they wanted to try a Star Wars game. As soon as I sat down with them, a family walked in but I only had spaces for four of them. They left, and as soon as they did, the older couple changed their mind. Grrrr.


They day dragged even more because there was literally no mobile phone signal so I was unable to stay in touch with the world via Social Media in the quiet moments.


But eventually a teenage girl and her father came in. She'd heard about TTRPGs (well, D&D) and was intrigued but didn't know how to get started. I sat them down and we began my old standby - Matt Colville's The Delian Tomb run using The Black Hack (1st Ed). As always, as soon as you start playing, people come in. Another older couple joined. It seemed to me that several families came in and out. Suddenly the male in the couple said he had to leave. I think it was something to do with his blood sugar, but his wife assured me he'd be fine and they didn't need any extra help. This left the father and daughter playing two characters apiece but I was able to catch a passing mum with a slightly younger daughter to take over the characters for the final battle.


It was all a bit scrappy but absolutely worth it because it was just what the original teenage girl had been looking for. Everyone seemed to have a good time but she was especially pleased. I gave her some starting advice and suggested her dad get in touch with me (business card) for more help and advice.


Unfortunately, I didn't get any more games on Saturday. The out of the way location of the office, lack of pre-advertising and draw of many, many alternative activities all took their toll. But it had been worth it for just that one game. Anyway, I'm not going to moan because I want to stay in the good books of the Ministry of Steampunk.


After searching around for a signal,I called taxi to the station and headed home to Birmingham.


I was a bit later arriving Sunday morning due to the fact that the British Rail service doesn't start early on a Sunday. Sunday went pretty much the same as Saturday - even with me doing some promotion on FaceBook and putting my banner outside the estate office to attract passersby. But there were loads of in depth nerdy chats with people, again.


Eventually a young mother and her two - very active - primary aged sons came in. The boys were very interested in trying a game. She told them it was what their dad used to play. She told me she thought the younger boy, particularly, wouldn't have the concentration span to play a whole game, but I reassured her we could stop at any time of there was a problem.


Guess what? The Delian Tomb with The Black Hack again. (It's just so perfect.) Great fun with the boys suggesting that their mum's Halfling thief led the way and took the risks. ("You make a noise and run away. When they run after you, we'll jump out on them.") And whenever she had to make a decision, and asked the boys what to do, they insisted she decide for herself.


After about 20 minutes she said they had to go but both boys insisted they stayed, which surprised her. She couldn't believe how invested they were. We were joined by two teenagers and their dad. Not enough spare pregens (or chairs or space) so they dad said he'd watch. (He didn't. He was an ex-D&Der who couldn't resist back seat driving. It was so funny to watch.)


The adventure came to its usual conclusion with the evil Bugbear using the captured children as human shields and the characters refusing to let him go. Cue children rescued but one young boy crippled by a Bugbear mattock.


Everyone was happy, I was happy but the mum seems to have had a revelation seeing her two sons playing like that for an hour. So even though there were no other games that day and the rain started pouring down, I still thought it was worthwhile coming.


Not least because the loft area - which contained the kitchen and toilets for us - also contained an old typewriter of an ornate design I've never seen before - which should be on display in a museum - and massive my old book which turned out to be an 1832 bible. I felt as though I should've been wearing white gloves as I turned the pages.


The Town that Never Was will be back next year. Is it worth coming to play TTRPGs? No. It'll just be me again - though I'll arrange it more in advance now I know and WILL get myself a better spot. But it's worth coming for the event. You get all the usual draws of the Victorian Village plus the benefits of a lively and interactive Steampunk event. If you feel the slightest pull of the bustle or pith helmet, I cannot recommend it highly enough.





UK Games Expo - 31st May - 2nd June 2019

UK Games Expo 31st May - 2nd June 2019

This is “the big one”. The biggest gaming event in the UK and the third biggest in the world. It’s not a TTRPG convention, it covers all sorts of tabletop gaming. In fact the only type of game it doesn’t cover is computer games. (They have enough conventions of their own.)

However, there is a significant amount of TTRPG gaming - 500 sessions in the “organised TTRPG track” alone - with multiple official multi-table TTRPG Tournaments, TTRPG “Games on Demand”, a TTRPG zone just for parents and children and numerous TTRPG demonstration games in the main trade hall. 

The preparation for Expo starts about 6 months in advance. Some people start even earlier than that by booking their accommodation as soon as possible. Cost effective choices sell out fairly early for this particular weekend. However, officially, the call goes out for people to offer TTRPG games they want to Referee about 6 months before the convention. Seems early. Games I feel like Refereeing in January I may be bored by come June. But I understand the necessity. Referees and Games have to be approved and entered onto the Convention Game Booking system. And this has to happen early enough for punters to look at the offerings and get excited about coming.

Expo is a professional convention. As such it has a generous rewards policy for all volunteers, including TTRPG referees. If you offer a game, you get in free. If you offer to run enough games to provide 4 hours of fun for 30 people in total, they put you up in the Hilton hotel for free and even provide you with food.

In the past I’ve prided myself on being an “Iron Referee” at Expo, running 8 games in total across the three days and, even, turning up to offer a game in the open gaming area on the Thursday before the convention.

This year, however, I decided to try and rein in my addiction to Refereeing and try to see some of the rest of the event. So I offered the minimum games required to get maximum rewards - 5 four hour slots for 6 players apiece. 6 players is a lot to referee for but - in my experience - you often get people not turning up.

Then you have the ordeal of deciding what you want to offer. The rewards are earnt as soon as the games are accepted. If you don’t get any players, you still get the rewards. So it isn’t the end of the world if no-one chooses your game. But it still makes you feel a bit unloved.

So for my first game, Friday morning I decided to offer a classic “D&D” scenario run using the stripped down “The Black Hack” rules.

I chose to have Friday afternoon off the see the Trade Hall. (It’s a bit quieter on Friday.)

Friday evening I offered a Horror Scenario. I rarely Referee Horror adventures and when I do I am very choosy about the adventure. I have a total of four (and a half) in my repertoire. This scenario was actually an adventure which was given away free in the programme from the 2018 Dragonmeet Convention. It’s very well written. I’ve run it a few times and it’s always fun.

Saturday morning I offered my Steampunk Game “One of our Dinosaurs is Missing”. Saturday afternoon I offered a “Blakes Seven” adventure based on the classic TV series.

I planned to spend Saturday night seeing one of the many shows on offer at Expo.

Sunday morning I offered my Dr Who scenario. The EXACT SAME ONE I’ve offered Sunday afternoon at Expo for four years running. This would be the fifth year. The only difference was I now had the game statistics for the new, 13th, Doctor and her “mates”.

I kept Sunday afternoon free, waiting to see what fate would offer.

All of these adventures are ones I’ve run before and which I have faith in. All of them except one used my own game systems - and that one I was totally familiar with. IMHO Expo is not a convention to be taking risks. By accepting the offer of accommodation you’re effectively being paid to run games and it’s a VERY public forum. Offer what you know.

Naturally all 5 games were accepted. I’ve built up a good reputation with the organisers over the years. They trust me. And I know what to offer. If you’re new to offering games at the Expo you’ll probably only have one or two games accepted in the first year, unless you’re already known to the TTRPG Organiser (who does, at times, seem to be Omnipotent).

After your games are offered, you sit back and wait. You can’t help watching the booking system - which is superb, and the best I’ve seen at any convention - to see if people are buying tickets for your games. My Steampunk one sold out almost immediately - months before the event. My Horror one sold no tickets.

I was then contacted by the UK’s expert in Indie TTRPGs. He was arranging a meet-up of independent game authors and publishers such as myself on the Friday evening. This is one of my main issues with Expo. The TTRPGs are submitted and published before other events. So if an event comes up that you’d like to go to, it’s more than likely you’ve already offered a game in that slot.

Luckily, my Friday evening game still hadn’t sold any tickets. So I contacted the organisers, pulled the game, and offered one of Friday afternoon as well. Because it had sold out so fast, I offered a second run out for my Steampunk and Dinosaurs game. And its perfectly OK to do that. You don’t have to offer five different games across the weekend. If you’ve got something GOOD, there’s no shame in offering it twice. In fact, I’d go so far as to say you SHOULD offer it more than once to give as many people as possible the chance to play it.

Then it’s just waiting. Last year all volunteers were asked to take part in web-based training. As I’ve said this is a professional event and everyone affiliated with the convention needs to know the rules and procedures. This year we weren’t asked to do it again as we’d already completed it. Newcomers needed to complete it though. It’s just an hour long presentation you need to watch.

Just before the event I realised I’d made a mistake. I’d offered a game using “The Black Hack” rules. But the author had just written a second edition, and it was up for an Expo award. That meant that at the last minute I had to switch from the edition I was used to the new version which I hadn’t played before. There wasn’t much difference but it made me feel a bit out of sorts.

If you aren’t having your accommodation provided, I’d say book early and shop around. The Hotels on the NEC campus are frighteningly expensive that weekend and the supply and demand basis. To stay at the hotel I was in for the weekend would set you back over £1,000. There are far cheaper options. Birmingham City centre itself is only 10 mins away by train.

I’d also bring your own food and drink - a packed lunch. The NEC food prices are very high.

Finally, if you can get to the NEC the evening before the event, there is Open Gaming but, more importantly, you can collect your tickets early and avoid any crush on Friday morning.

I couldn’t get to Open Gaming this year as I’ve recently joined a local gaming club that meets every Thursday night. So I arrived early Friday morning.

The first thing I noticed was there were LOADS of ticket booths open for people to collect tickets from and the early attendees didn’t seem to have long queues to wait in.  Referee tickets and packs were available from a separate secluded room and I was able to collect mine with ease.

The envelope contained my three day pass, slips for all of my games and a food voucher for each day, as well as printed instructions. Having grabbed that I headed over to the Hilton Hotel where the TTRPGs are housed - away from the noise and bustle of the main halls.

The convention starts at 10:00am but the TTRPGs start at 9:00am. This meant that those in charge of them had a very limited time to set up, open rooms etc. A queue formed with people uncertain of whether it was for Referees or Players. Naturally I pushed to the front to ask. Seeing that they weren’t ready, and trusting them, I went to sit on a comfy chair in the bar.

Shortly before 9:00am I walked back to the front desk. The queue was sorted and I was easily able to register my game on the desk’s computer. The convention has an excellent TTRPG management app, and logging your game in at the front desk is the first step. I then went to find my room.

This was a typical hotel convention room. It contained about 8 round tables, four or five of which had games on. One of the tables bore a bright yellow cloth. This was the table of the Room Captain! Their job is to keep an eye on the room and be the first port of call if anything seems amiss. There isn’t much to the role and I’d filled it in 2018. But I take responsibility seriously and had asked not to be given that job this year.

Because of the slight delay, I wasn’t quite as set up as I wanted to be as the session started. The first thing you do is collect your player’s tickets and enter them into the app on your phone. Then you press a button to start the game. As I said it’s a great app - it lets the front desk know immediately what games have spaces in if people turn up looking for one. If you don’t get any players, your game doesn’t run but you may be asked to play in another game to make up the numbers and allow it to take place.

My first game was fine but I felt a slight lack of familiarity with the system changes.  But the players - a full table of six - were all old hands, understood the rules straight away, and didn’t notice anything amiss. I just found that in the new system characters seemed to do a bit less damage and can absorb a bit more, which made the adventure run a bit more slowly. We all had a great time though. As usual for the Expo, the players were just there to have a good time and were great fun.

During the game the wonderful, wonderful, wonderful yellow shirt volunteers came round to check that everything was OK, collect the tickets and take my Friday Food voucher and my food order. I chose a Burrito. 

When I finished my game, the Burrito was waiting for me at the front desk. It was from the Food Vans that the convention organises outside the Hilton. These are artisan food stalls. They are no cheaper than the NEC/Hilton food but it is of much higher quality. The Burrito was amazing!

They give you a two hour break between the morning and afternoon games. Enough time to nip over to the Trade Hall if you want a quick look or visit the Viking display in the grounds between the two venues or pop into the “Collector’s Fair” which is always, co-incidentally, in a hall adjacent to the Expo. This year, the Expo ticket gets you in there for free. Two conventions for the price of one!

I found the two hour break a bit long but used it to check into my room and sort out my games stuff. Accommodation IS provided but you do have to share a room with another Referee, preferably a friend - as in my case.

The afternoon session runs from 3:00pm to 7:00pm. My Room Captain - coincidentally (or not) also my room-mate - had no players for his game so I was asked to take on the role for that session.

Another full table of 6 players for my Steampunk and Dinosaurs game. Another group just looking to have fun. A variety of genders and ages. One player seemed to be able to see into my head and predict every twist and turn of the game. But it was massive fun with a wild ending involving a giant scientist and one character turning out to a Roger Moore type smoothie, romancing the enemy spy.

My game ended in good time but, to my horror, I saw that four other tables in the room showed no signs of finishing. I had my Indie Gamer’s meet up to go to. I politely reminded all the referees of the time but none seemed to show any inclination to wrap up. Eventually I had to go the front desk and call the Organiser in to have a word with them. Another Referee was temporarily made Room Captain and I made it to my Indie Designers event just in time.

This was good and well meaning and had plenty of potential for networking. But one of the reasons I play TTRPGs is because they give me a structure to interact with other people. I’m not as good in unstructured social situations and didn’t make best use of the meeting. I was also surprised to see so many people from a professional company there as well. However, I will go again next year and try to prepare myself to make better use of the time.

It was then that I made my biggest discovery of the weekend. You don’t get any food vouchers for your evening meal. Prices in the Hilton are notoriously high. The Bar food is expensive and the staff are overwhelmed and slow. Allegedly even a cup of coffee costs £5!  However, one of the larger suites had been turned over to Open Gaming. The convention trade halls close down for the evening and many gamers decamp to the Hilton looking for somewhere to play. And in the corner, the convention organisers had prevailed upon the hotel to set up a stand featuring “gamer food”. Still a bit pricey (£5.10 for a pint, £1.20 for a can of coke, £1 for crisps, and £4.75 for the limpest most pathetic sandwiches you’ll ever see) but it had a “meal deal” for £6, it WAS the cheapest coke anywhere in the convention and there was no queue and the staff were quick, professional and polite. This was to be my stopping point throughout the weekend.

After my sandwich I went to find my evening show. I found a huge queue snaking across the hotel being professionally managed by the wonderful, wonderful yellowshirts. Despite the huge numbers we were soon in and seated.

This was “The Dark Room” a live on-stage computer text adventure. Basically a shouty Australian haranguing the audience with the kind of catchphrases, in jokes and call and response stuff that English audiences love. Real end of the pier stuff. It was good and funny - and it’s easy to see why people return year after year - and presenter was an impressive force of nature. But it was a bit too rumbustious for my tastes.

After the show, I thought I’d grab another meal deal in case I got hungry in the night. Something strange happened. The lady serving was trying to clear out all the leftover sandwiches rather than throw them away. As I was the only person who wanted any, she emptied the chiller cabinet in front of me. About a dozen sandwiches for £2.40. I put them in a box, claimed my own and took the rest to the front desk for the wonderful, wonderful yellow shirts.

In the morning I got up early. Breakfast is included with the room - and it is a very very good hotel buffet breakfast - but experience tells me that the room fills up fast. I got in my 7:00am and by the time I’d finished my cereal course, the queue for the hot food filled the room. However, by the time I’d finished my fruit course it had died down.

Over the course of the hour I rinsed the breakfast, consuming a total of 5 different courses and entertaining people on twitter with the description of my Mr Creosote-like activities. The free hotel breakfast is always one of the highlights of Expo for me.

I was in my room in good time for my morning game. Alas, the internet backbone seemed to crumble under the weight of the busy Saturday at the Expo, so I was unable to use the app to record my players’ tickets. But the wonderful, wonderful yellowshirts collected them in the old fashioned way.

This game was another run out for my Steampunk and dinosaurs game. Again a table of six players. But this time they were all middle-aged, white, men like myself. (What we now call “Grognards”.) I am good with and enjoy diverse tables of players but sometimes its nice to play with your own kind for a bit.

This table totally “got” my game system, milking all the goodness out of every drop. The same scenario, a totally different outcome with the engines from a wrecked airship being repurposed into makeshift missiles to catch the fleeing mad scientist. That’s why I run games more than once. They always work out differently.

Lunch was Burrito again. Over lunch I began to pick up stories from the Trade Hall. Apparently it was rammed and getting around it was difficult, bordering on unpleasant, at times. Hint: Saturday is VERY busy in the Trade Halls. 

There was an excellent seminar that I would have liked to go to and if I’d known about it early enough, I would have offered a game in the evening to keep my afternoon free.

My afternoon game was my Blakes Seven Game - based on the classic TV series. Only 5 players this time - and again all Grognards. Well, I suppose it IS an old TV series. Great players - who, again,  totally “got” my rules. Great fun. Round of applause at the end.

Tea was another meal deal.

I’d booked two shows that night. The first was “Knightmare: Live”. Based on the old TV series. Ambitious but a bit ramshackle. There’s an idea in there somewhere but they need to hone the good bits (the animated wall acting was excellent) and drop some of the less successful elements. The audience seemed to love it though, so maybe I’m just an old fusspot.

After that it was straight into Jollyboat. I’ve been aware of them for a while, met them, even have one as a FaceBook friend, but never seen them perform. I didn’t realise just how good they were. The act is pirates singing funny songs but there’s just so much talent at so many levels that I could appreciate. I’ve written parody songs myself so I can tell you these were top notch. I play the guitar a bit and can tell you, these guys are GOOD. They’ve got great singing voices. But best of all they’re dyed in the wool gaming nerds whose songs feature gags about Owlbears and Mimmicks. It’s like they’re plugged straight into your funny bone. I loved ‘em. (I also messaged by FB buddy afterwards and blagged my way into running some TTRPGs at their upcoming convention.)

Then another meal deal (a different, less generous, woman tonight) and to bed.

Up early for another 5 course breakfast feast. Then my Dr Who game. I’ve run this one dozens and dozens of times over 5 years at dozens of conventions for hundreds of people and it still delivers. A diverse table of 5 players. This lot cleverly avoided fighting the “big bad” - instead accidentally creating their own “big bad” - a giant four armed Cyber-Jhduhn as it happens - to fight it for them. Admittedly the 13th Doctor was behaving more like the 6th, but - by god - I love running this adventure.

Lunch was spiced Korean fish and chips which was simply AMAZING. 

I was tired by then. Not as tired as most people. Many people go a bit wild at Expo and stay up until the early mornings - gaming, drinking, socialising. I’d paced myself, sensibly, but was still flagging. I considered going home early as all the TTRPGs were booked up. However, I hung around the front desk and managed to get into a Call of Cthulhu game. This was a pleasant, mild, stroll through the backwaters of England which unfolded about about a tenth of the pace of one of my games. But I was playing specifically to try and hone my skills as a PLAYER - which I know are poor. I think I succeeded. I didn’t force the pace. I kept my mouth shut most of the time and “bigged up” the other players and their characters and let them solve the mystery - playing the role of jokey sidekick.

And then a train ride home.

I thoroughly enjoyed Expo this year. I didn’t get anywhere near the trade halls and feel all the better for that. If you like board and card games or bring and buy stalls there are two halls of goodness for you - three counting the Collector’s Fair. It’s just not for me. The organisation this year was just slick and the yellowshirt volunteers were amazing! And all my games had full tables making me feel loved and wanted. It was a lovely weekend.

Next year I may offer 6 games for 5 people instead of 5 games for 6 and hold off offering some of them until the seminar schedule is announced. I won’t be going to any shows - even JollyBoat. I think I’ll be seeing THEM again well before Expo 2020.